I only managed to get to the lake a few times and this is the first summer since I was 7 that I wasn’t on water skis. Just typing that is sad—I love to waterski. A mid-week personal day away from work to kayak with my mama never happened either.
My garden suffered. A mix of the season and my new circumstance no doubt. All of the vine plants were destroyed by a very unattractive garden beetle of sorts. No squash or melons this year. The eggplant never created fruit. Of the 10 bell pepper plants, only one produced. The tomatoes look good, if they would just turn red. While I won a couple battles, the weeds won the war.
I am not sporting my usual deep-set tan. Time in the direct sun was limited.
It was more difficult to embrace the heat. I am a lover of summer, but we had some hot days. If I did not nurse, I likely wouldn’t have noticed too much. Breastfeeding on those days proved to show me that all areas of the body are capable of sweat. Our combined heat could have sparked a wild fire! I’d put receiving blankets between us to absorb the moisture, sit in front of a fan, and watch the beads of sweat appear on her little head. She never seemed to mind.
In all that I gave up this summer, I gained bounties more. I woke to a smiling face every morning, had a sidekick for every hike, inhaled the sweet smell of a newborn, served as her hero, watched my very own creation grow before my eyes, shared conversation that only a mama and her babe can decipher, and experienced love and awe that is immeasurable and unexplainable. And I got to share this amazing little soul with our family and friends and watch that they too were smitten by her ways. She is absolutely precious. She owns my heart. I long only for her health and happiness.
I cannot describe the amazing feeling I get when she gazes at me while nursing, when her hand reaches up to touch my face or play with my necklace or hair. How selfish I feel when she is sad and only I can provide comfort. How my heart skips when I walk into the room and she lights up. Or how I hear music when she smiles, giggles, coos, and babbles. Every day I tell myself that Cody is the best thing that ever happened to me, and she is the best thing we have ever done.
We did have a great summer—a summer filled with blessings and the joy that only a child can bring. Though trips to the lake were few, they were quality time with my folks and Connie appears to love the water as much as I do. Family visits were plentiful and our babe has had so many experiences in her short life.
God, thank you for her. Thank you for this summer and the many to come.