My sweet child. Oh how long I waited for you, dreamed of you, and hoped for you. Because of our journey to bring you into this family, I anticipated how I would savor every moment, be cautious, and perhaps be even more click-happy as I knew you would be my last baby. And then you…
Category: Motherhood
What I’ve Learned in My Two Years as a Mama
Preface: The below reflections were originally written in April 2017. I managed to draft this and must have intended to include more and never got around to doing so. It’s been in drafts and I discovered it today as I was about to write about yet another birthday and another year of reflections. The below…
Vivian’s Newborn Images
Treasured images of our sweet baby girl and us, as a family of four. Rachel Manzke has been capturing the chapters of our lives for several years now. When she couldn’t commit to being there for Vivian’s birth due to a mix of a needed surgery, the holidays, and work, we were grateful she recommended…
A Birth Story: Vivian Ruth
Vivian. The name means ‘alive’ or ‘life’ which is exactly what we prayed for during our pregnancy. As I carried our child, my request of God was to hold this child, full of life and vitality, and to welcome him/her with every opportunity and advantage. Ruth means companion/ friend; a vision of beauty. It was also…
Farming Heartbreak
I sat next to that new life with so much hopelessness. “What do we do?” I asked my husband. “We’ve done what we can do. Can’t save them all.” To which I responded, “I don’t buy that.” He looked at me in a way to say I understand this is hard, but this is life….
Aging Guilt
Tomorrow. She’s two years old tomorrow. Birthday #2 has been much harder than the first was for me. This week has been emotional. More than a few tears have been shed and even when I’m composed on the outside, my mama heart is tied up in knots. The countdown this week is a reminder that…
Valentines Day Hype
The drama, hope, and heartache of Valentine’s day… I can remember being in high school on Valentine’s day watching the office fill with balloons and flowers and waiting for the long announcement listing the names of students who had items to collect. Many were receiving signs of affection from their boyfriend or girlfriend or BFF….
First Summer with an Infant
This certainly was not my typical summer. Modifications were made, priorities shifted, and activities were limited—the result of having an infant. I only managed to get to the lake a few times and this is the first summer since I was 7 that I wasn’t on water skis. Just typing that is sad—I love to…
First-time Separation for New Mama
19 weeks from the day I birthed my daughter into this world, I had to be separated from her. Duty called and I was needed in Chicago for work. I would be away from her for three nights. The good news is it was just to Chicago which meant I was close to home considering…
Bear Vale Life 