Rememberance

“When a child loses a parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses their partner, they are called a widow. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them.” In 1988, President Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This month recognizes the loss so many…

Pure Grief

It’s funny how when something happens to you personally, especially something that may be unique to you, or for you, you tend to see mentions of it when you wouldn’t expect it. In 1997 my youngest brother was struck by a train. Yes, a moving train. What are the odds, right? That same summer, 17…

Fresh Garden Salsa

In late summer and early fall, my garden is bursting with vine-ripened tomatoes and we indulge in a lot of salsa during the short season. A 5-quart batch can easily be consumed in two days between Cody and I. I also like to make large batches and share the deliciousness with family and friends. I’ve…

Thy Will Be Done

Life resumes without any hesitation. Certainly that is a good thing, but the slightest of a hesitation would be good too, to not feel like I am plowing ahead at full speed without him. There is this pressure—most likely self-inflicted—to act as is if nothing happened. To move on, to be normal. To not bring…

Coming Home—Guilt & Fear

It’s been two weeks since we lost James and today, we finally got to bring him home. We opted to have him cremated. That only took a few days but awaiting his urn and stone/marker took more time.  It was important for us to memorialize him. As we looked through the catalog of options I…

Our Loss of James

Timing. Within hours of going public with our happy baby news we experienced the loss every parent fears. Many may wonder why I would share this or write about it, especially so soon. I write. I enjoy it and it helps—a form of therapy if you will. I also write to recall our experience, to…

Sugar and Your Health

Sugar is killing you, literally. It  impairs your health, makes you more prone to disease, causes skin problems, impacts your mood, and is slowing you down. As a female, I have always been conscience about maintaining my weight, getting exercise and controlling portions. Over the past few months however I have really taken conscientious to a…

Sleep Training

In previous posts, I alluded to our experimentation with sleep training. Miss Connie has slept well from the start. I cannot complain about sleepless nights or having days and nights mixed up. She spoiled us from the beginning. When we brought her home, we started with her sleeping in our bed (co-sleeping). I would lay…

Mammary

mam·ma·ry, ˈmam(ə)rē/, adjective,  relating or belonging to the milk-secreting organ of a female mammal In the past few weeks, I really feel like my mammary glands are giving up. When we were in Jamaica I pumped a few times each day and managed to extract roughly 25 ounces over the 5-day period. It was deflating, literally! I was…

Teething Experiments

Tooth #1 arrived on September 22nd, just after turning 5 months old. The nanny discovered it and brought her in to ask if I knew it was there. I had been occasionally checking for breaks in the gums, but had not noticed it and was happy to realize it came in without much fuss or…

Milk Supply

A few weeks ago I shared a post titled Lactation in which I shared my discovery of a diminished milk supply. As a result, I had multiple women reach out to share their suggestions, experience, and encouragement. It was heartwarming to have other mamas relate to my desire to continue nursing and help me get…

Vaccination Worries

In the 6-month update, I indicated I would have a separate post about our vaccination experience. I know I could start a debate here. The topic of vaccinations and the pro/con arguments can be as hot as the gun issue for some. I’m not looking to debate. This is simply my stance. At the core of…

Lactation Struggles

I was inspired to write this post as sat here, attached to my breast pump. It’s like being a cow, truly. Attaching my poor boobs to a sucking, pinching, noisy machine and hoping to collect a few ounces of milk is not at all glamorous. I really didn’t know my nipple could stretch so far….

First Summer with an Infant

This certainly was not my typical summer. Modifications were made, priorities shifted, and activities were limited—the result of having an infant. I only managed to get to the lake a few times and this is the first summer since I was 7 that I wasn’t on water skis. Just typing that is sad—I love to…

First-time Separation for New Mama

19 weeks from the day I birthed my daughter into this world, I had to be separated from her. Duty called and I was needed in Chicago for work. I would be away from her for three nights. The good news is it was just to Chicago which meant I was close to home considering…

Connie’s Birth Story

Monday, April 13 Contractions began at 2:37 a.m. I woke to go to the bathroom and after returning to bed felt a “tightening.” I wondered if this was a contraction… and decided to record the time just in case. Several minutes later, another. Is this real, is this our birth day? Contractions continued throughout the…

Why I Am Choosing a Natural Birth

As shared in blog post “38 Weeks,” we had to have some monitoring throughout the first two trimesters of our pregnancy and take precautions due to my LEEP procedure in 2003. The monitoring was far more intervention than what I desired. I would have preferred to not have had to have the ultrasounds, but when pregnant…